Movin' on up

I've got a new home! You can now stalk visit me here.

Ladies night

I heard on the radio this morning that a local station is hosting a ladies night somewhere. I didn't catch all the details...

All I heard was "ladies night" and "make the bed contest...."

Ahhh....what lady wants to make a bed on her big night off? Is this some kind of joke? If you win the contest your prize is a mattress.

Woop-di-doo!

Not to be funny here, but I don't like making the bed on a regular day let alone doing it at a bar on a ladies night out for "fun." My inner feminist is telling me this is sexist.

I'm pretty sure that on guys night they have wet t-shirt and bikini contests. I'd like to see guys have a "make the bed" contest and see how many of them actually show up and participate.

This is BLASPHEMY, I tell you!

Bad mommy move #3471

My little munchkin-poo is addicted to paper. I mean, she only has a thousand toys, but she would rather play with a napkin over her $100 bouncer.


$70 play mat? No, thanks. Let me chew on that magazine, please!

What's the deal? In a desperate moment today, I let her play with a paper towel while I washed dishes.

Let me preface by saying that I was supervising her the whole time....

So, during this "time" (approx. 7 min), I started thinking crazy thoughts like how to market paper towels for babies. Who needs expensive baby toys when you can make ‘specially soft paper towels for any baby's chewing pleasure? I could put brain stimulating images of bright colors as patterns without any chemical dyes. I could use vegetable or fruit juices! Yes! And this could equal a day's fruit/vegetable serving. Genius!

As I reveled in my ingenious idea and gave myself a mental pat on the back, I glance over at my angel to see a funny look on her face. I walk over and notice a huge wad of paper towel in her mouth just seconds from being swallowed/choked on.

Hmmmm.....finger sweep- positive, mommy points- negative.

Way to go giving my baby a potential choking hazard. And they pay me to teach Early Childhood Education....Oh, and I'll be paid even more next year as the newly appointed department head...

PS- I'm super behind posting Jamie's 5 month update. I'll get it done by the end of the week, I promise!!

Well that explains it!

Let's just say that while cleaning Boos' litter box I figured out why he was throwing up so much last Tuesday. Think large, thick rubber band. Where he got that from, I'll never know. But, I'll be hiding the rubber bands from here on out.....

Also, I was running late yesterday morning and didn't get a chance to make myself some coffee. In a desperate attempt for caffeine, I stopped by the McDonald's on my way to work for a McCafe (sugar-free vanilla, yum!).

Let me preface this by saying that I don't exactly live in a town of hundreds. There are thousands of people in the area I live in and I was in the next town over. I also don't eat fast food regularly. In fact, I can't even remember going to this McDonald's since before I had the baby....

Anywho, I order my precious liquid gold (brown ?) and when I pull up to the window the girl is says,

"Hey! How's the baby? How did the labor go? We haven't seen you in a while!"

Hmpf. Maybe me daily morning egg mcmuffin crave while I was pregnant went on a little longer than I thought.

Excuse me while I go hop on my new Gazelle for the next two hours. (Yes, I bought a Gazelle. You're jealous, aren't you!) :-)

I didn't marry a gringo to have paper flowers...

What do Elsa Patton, Steven Tyler, Donatella Versace, Tori Spelling, and Daisy De la Hoya have in common??

They all look like my old muppet friend, Janice!

Am I right, or am I right?

If you agree, go here to vote for my Elsa look-alike.

**All images from cheezburger.com

What's going on?!

I really can't believe I've been so neglectful on updating this blog lately. I really have so much to say, yet I have so very little time it seems.

School has been a little stressful. Not in a horrible, "I don't want to go to work" kind of way, but enough that I'm exhausted with brain fog when I get home. Right now I'm pretty behind on grading, I'm dealing with some major behavior issues at the high school level, and I'm trying to put the kibosh on one of my most favorite infectious diseases (pink eye) in the preschool.

We had a little scare with my precious Boo Boo Bear no Tuesday night. Starting at around 3:15 pm he started throwing up. I didn't think much of it, cause he's a cat, a mischievous one at that, and I figured he had a hairball or he swallowed a weird plant or ribbon or something. But, he kept throwing up all night. At around 8 pm I started to get worried cause he had vomited at least 10-12 times and he seemed to not feel well. So, we took him to the emergency vet to find out that he was a little dehydrated and had some pain in the abdomen/kidney area. An x-ray determined he didn't have a blockage and his organs seemed fine. So, they gave him so fluids, an anti-nausea, and a pain killer and sent us home. He's been doing fine, although yesterday you could still tell he wasn't 100% he did eat a little. The weirdest thing about his behavior is that he's a giant 16 pound cat and he's not begging for food. He's kind of like me in that way....if I'm not eating, then you know I must be really sick. The vet thinks he may just have a little viral kitty flu or a bout of pancreatitis. M poor baby Boo!!

On a really very random note, I have an idea for an invention. Today, it is storming pretty bad, and of course my car was outside in the rain this morning....so, my question here is "what is the point of an umbrella keeping you dry to your car, if when you get in the car you have to drag it across your body to the other seat and thereby drenching yourself?" No. Really!! I'm not even trying to be funny here. I was SOAKING wet from this mere little action this morning. You know, it's these type of things that get my right side of the brain going and get me thinking things like they need to come up with an environmentally-safe, dry-keeping, disposable umbrella that I can just toss on the ground by the car when I get in. Know what I mean? Wouldn't that be awesome? It could just disentigrate after a few hours or something....

I'm just sayin'....

TV talk and such

One:  I can't believe I'm watching the Bachelor again. I promised myself after Jason Mesnick that I would never watch this show again and yet here I am watching the Women Tell All for Brad Womack and I'm totally enthralled. Totally. Girl drama is kind of awesome. Michelle's a hot mess, and I love it.

Two: Anyone watching the Real Housewives of Miami? Ok, I'll just tell you the truth right now and let you know that I've watched two episodes of this season and I'm not at all interested in these woman. Not one tiny bit. BUT, I'm totally addicted to Cruella, er, I mean Elsa Patton.

I don't know...there's something about those painted on eyebrows and the glass of wine that is perpetually in her hands. She's like the Chesire cat.

Hmmm....her face does almost look like it's melting off, though. Isn't she delicious?!?

Three: I'm so sad Arthur got booted off the Biggest Loser Couples this season. So, so sad. :(

Four: Anyone watching the new Bethenny season? Should I be watching this?

Five: Oh. my. God. I'm still watching this stupid Women Tell All episode of the Bachelor and I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. Who is this Michelle person?? *heave*

Random side note that doesn't have to do with t.v.: I can't believe I'm going to admit this because I am a Lady Gaga fan, but I don't like her new Born Free song. I really really don't. I think it sounds like a Madonna spin-off. It just doesn't get me going in the mornings. With that said, I'm loving the new Enrique song. I never ever thought I would say that out loud. But there it is. I do really love his new song. Humphf!