The day Chester broke my heart

One thing I had to look forward to today was an appointment with my Urologist, Chester Dr. Wilmot, to discuss what they came up with from my kidney stone analysis. I went ahead and squeezed in an appointment with my PCP to get my ears checked out cause I swore I had an ear infection, plus a couple other little tmi things I needed to discuss.

Since I know you are all on bated breath to get my diagnoses I'll just go ahead and tell you I have Bronchitis. Apparently, a sinus infection can turn into bronchitis if not treated quickly enough. Awesome... Z-pack here I come. I haven't had Bronchitis since before I had my tonsils taken out (at age 20)... or the z-pack.

Anyway, regarding Chester....I saw him after the PCP. He let me know very jovially that the kidney stone was made of calcium oxalate and that it was monohydrate...yah. I thought the same thing, "what the hell is that?" Basically it means the stones are really hard. The hardest kind you can get, which is why mine hurt so bad. Nice!

Then he hands me the "Low Oxalate" diet and "gently suggests" that I eat that for, let's say, the rest of my life.

A quick glance at the 16 pages of "off limit" foods and my smile begins to fade really fast.

Here's the gist- it's everything I eat and love...except wine...

Right, so on the "no" list are things like potatoes, pretzels, beer, pepper, soy sauce, beans (inc. green), oatmeal, popcorn, strawberries, tangerines, all soy products, wheat, chocolate....the list goes on and on and on and on....did you see Chocolate on the "no" list. Yep. Chocolate. Chocolate.

I say, "Chester, this is very sad."

And Chester says, "Yes it is."

Ok, I didn't call him Chester. I respectfully called him Dr. Wilmot, but if he said I could call him Chester, I would. It just rolls off the tongue nicely, you know.

Meet Chester. The man who took my chocolate away and consequently broke my heart the day after Valentine's day.

You break my heart, Chester!