Movin' on up

I've got a new home! You can now stalk visit me here.

Ladies night

I heard on the radio this morning that a local station is hosting a ladies night somewhere. I didn't catch all the details...

All I heard was "ladies night" and "make the bed contest...."

Ahhh....what lady wants to make a bed on her big night off? Is this some kind of joke? If you win the contest your prize is a mattress.

Woop-di-doo!

Not to be funny here, but I don't like making the bed on a regular day let alone doing it at a bar on a ladies night out for "fun." My inner feminist is telling me this is sexist.

I'm pretty sure that on guys night they have wet t-shirt and bikini contests. I'd like to see guys have a "make the bed" contest and see how many of them actually show up and participate.

This is BLASPHEMY, I tell you!

Bad mommy move #3471

My little munchkin-poo is addicted to paper. I mean, she only has a thousand toys, but she would rather play with a napkin over her $100 bouncer.


$70 play mat? No, thanks. Let me chew on that magazine, please!

What's the deal? In a desperate moment today, I let her play with a paper towel while I washed dishes.

Let me preface by saying that I was supervising her the whole time....

So, during this "time" (approx. 7 min), I started thinking crazy thoughts like how to market paper towels for babies. Who needs expensive baby toys when you can make ‘specially soft paper towels for any baby's chewing pleasure? I could put brain stimulating images of bright colors as patterns without any chemical dyes. I could use vegetable or fruit juices! Yes! And this could equal a day's fruit/vegetable serving. Genius!

As I reveled in my ingenious idea and gave myself a mental pat on the back, I glance over at my angel to see a funny look on her face. I walk over and notice a huge wad of paper towel in her mouth just seconds from being swallowed/choked on.

Hmmmm.....finger sweep- positive, mommy points- negative.

Way to go giving my baby a potential choking hazard. And they pay me to teach Early Childhood Education....Oh, and I'll be paid even more next year as the newly appointed department head...

PS- I'm super behind posting Jamie's 5 month update. I'll get it done by the end of the week, I promise!!

Well that explains it!

Let's just say that while cleaning Boos' litter box I figured out why he was throwing up so much last Tuesday. Think large, thick rubber band. Where he got that from, I'll never know. But, I'll be hiding the rubber bands from here on out.....

Also, I was running late yesterday morning and didn't get a chance to make myself some coffee. In a desperate attempt for caffeine, I stopped by the McDonald's on my way to work for a McCafe (sugar-free vanilla, yum!).

Let me preface this by saying that I don't exactly live in a town of hundreds. There are thousands of people in the area I live in and I was in the next town over. I also don't eat fast food regularly. In fact, I can't even remember going to this McDonald's since before I had the baby....

Anywho, I order my precious liquid gold (brown ?) and when I pull up to the window the girl is says,

"Hey! How's the baby? How did the labor go? We haven't seen you in a while!"

Hmpf. Maybe me daily morning egg mcmuffin crave while I was pregnant went on a little longer than I thought.

Excuse me while I go hop on my new Gazelle for the next two hours. (Yes, I bought a Gazelle. You're jealous, aren't you!) :-)

I didn't marry a gringo to have paper flowers...

What do Elsa Patton, Steven Tyler, Donatella Versace, Tori Spelling, and Daisy De la Hoya have in common??

They all look like my old muppet friend, Janice!

Am I right, or am I right?

If you agree, go here to vote for my Elsa look-alike.

**All images from cheezburger.com

What's going on?!

I really can't believe I've been so neglectful on updating this blog lately. I really have so much to say, yet I have so very little time it seems.

School has been a little stressful. Not in a horrible, "I don't want to go to work" kind of way, but enough that I'm exhausted with brain fog when I get home. Right now I'm pretty behind on grading, I'm dealing with some major behavior issues at the high school level, and I'm trying to put the kibosh on one of my most favorite infectious diseases (pink eye) in the preschool.

We had a little scare with my precious Boo Boo Bear no Tuesday night. Starting at around 3:15 pm he started throwing up. I didn't think much of it, cause he's a cat, a mischievous one at that, and I figured he had a hairball or he swallowed a weird plant or ribbon or something. But, he kept throwing up all night. At around 8 pm I started to get worried cause he had vomited at least 10-12 times and he seemed to not feel well. So, we took him to the emergency vet to find out that he was a little dehydrated and had some pain in the abdomen/kidney area. An x-ray determined he didn't have a blockage and his organs seemed fine. So, they gave him so fluids, an anti-nausea, and a pain killer and sent us home. He's been doing fine, although yesterday you could still tell he wasn't 100% he did eat a little. The weirdest thing about his behavior is that he's a giant 16 pound cat and he's not begging for food. He's kind of like me in that way....if I'm not eating, then you know I must be really sick. The vet thinks he may just have a little viral kitty flu or a bout of pancreatitis. M poor baby Boo!!

On a really very random note, I have an idea for an invention. Today, it is storming pretty bad, and of course my car was outside in the rain this morning....so, my question here is "what is the point of an umbrella keeping you dry to your car, if when you get in the car you have to drag it across your body to the other seat and thereby drenching yourself?" No. Really!! I'm not even trying to be funny here. I was SOAKING wet from this mere little action this morning. You know, it's these type of things that get my right side of the brain going and get me thinking things like they need to come up with an environmentally-safe, dry-keeping, disposable umbrella that I can just toss on the ground by the car when I get in. Know what I mean? Wouldn't that be awesome? It could just disentigrate after a few hours or something....

I'm just sayin'....

TV talk and such

One:  I can't believe I'm watching the Bachelor again. I promised myself after Jason Mesnick that I would never watch this show again and yet here I am watching the Women Tell All for Brad Womack and I'm totally enthralled. Totally. Girl drama is kind of awesome. Michelle's a hot mess, and I love it.

Two: Anyone watching the Real Housewives of Miami? Ok, I'll just tell you the truth right now and let you know that I've watched two episodes of this season and I'm not at all interested in these woman. Not one tiny bit. BUT, I'm totally addicted to Cruella, er, I mean Elsa Patton.

I don't know...there's something about those painted on eyebrows and the glass of wine that is perpetually in her hands. She's like the Chesire cat.

Hmmm....her face does almost look like it's melting off, though. Isn't she delicious?!?

Three: I'm so sad Arthur got booted off the Biggest Loser Couples this season. So, so sad. :(

Four: Anyone watching the new Bethenny season? Should I be watching this?

Five: Oh. my. God. I'm still watching this stupid Women Tell All episode of the Bachelor and I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. Who is this Michelle person?? *heave*

Random side note that doesn't have to do with t.v.: I can't believe I'm going to admit this because I am a Lady Gaga fan, but I don't like her new Born Free song. I really really don't. I think it sounds like a Madonna spin-off. It just doesn't get me going in the mornings. With that said, I'm loving the new Enrique song. I never ever thought I would say that out loud. But there it is. I do really love his new song. Humphf!

Mommy-Butt Monday Over and Out!

Well, lucky you. This is the last time I post about my mommy-butt...

Looks like somebody lost all 60 of her baby weight! I can even wear my wedding ring and everything. Very exciting!

Anywho, I really could continue on with these shenanigans, but it's starting to get redundant. I think I've accepted the fact that although my old jeans fit me, I've got one hell of a muffin top. I'm told that's going to take longer than the 5 months I've allotted myself. Actually, if I'm honest here, I only allotted myself 3 months, but it took me longer than that as you all know.

So, I relieve you of my mommy-butt ramblings. I've still got more to lose thanks to the fertility treatments and all, but let's not beat a dead horse. Know what I mean?

On a side note, though...thank God my cankles are gone. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Apparently my champagne taste does not extend to wine

I've been in a *real* funk this past week, hence my inability to blog much these days. I think it's a combination of still not feeling 100% since my bronchitis, still being a little pissed at Chester about the "new" diet, some monster stuff at school, and just pure working mommy exhaustion.

The last two times I've gone to the grocery store I have literally wandered up and down the aisle's lost. I mean, the fact that I can't eat any green vegetables is just absurd. So, on my most recent grocery trip I went to the register with a small organic butternut squash, two large organic sweet potatoes, and 5 bottles of wine. Yes, five. Because, that is only thing on the diet I know I can have. Ok, let me explain I'm not some kind of alchi. What happened here is that the diet is specific about what wines I can have. One of them is the Beaujolais. I've never had that kind of wine, so I picked up a bottle that looked interesting. And, next to that was a Pinot Noir, and I've been meaning to try a Pinot Noir. So, I got one of those little goodies that was on sale. As I went on my way down the aisle I saw one of my most favorite table wines, Josef Weinberg Sweet Red. SO, I got three bottles of that one...

Alright, one day I saw some wine on sale (my now new fav: Josef Weinberg Sweet Red), and I bought one. I L-O-V-E-D it. I mean truly adored it. One night Matt stopped at Total Wine on his way home from work and asked if I wanted anything, so I told him about this little gem I found. Well, when he got home he tells me that Total Wine had no freaking idea what I was talking about and that they didn't even have Josef Weinberg in their computer system. I went all over the Internet trying to figure out this mess and figured out that they only sell this wine at SweetBay and Food Lion.Yes, because it's cheap. I should have known from the $5.99 sale price and the screw off top that this wasn't exactly an elegant table wine.

Honestly, I think there are worst things in life than enjoying cheap wine. Right? So, I got three of those when I saw them cause, well, I was excited about it!

On another tangent, school has been just a little stressful for me. I guess not in the sense of real stressful situations, but in my little world I've been stressed. For one, we have a little boy who is obsessed with monsters. So obsessed that he walks around growling at people and pushing them. Because, as he tells me, he is a "monster and monsters are mean". So, I've tried explaining to him that monsters don't come to school, but he's not buying what I'm selling. Anyone have any ideas on this? It's really starting to become a problem as we have several children who are now terrified of him, and one specifically who now cries from the minute her mother leaves until about 30 minutes before her mother gets there (so, yeah- like 3 and a half hours). This isn't helping my residual sinus headache. Where's my cheap wine when I need it???

The high school students aren't acting any better right now, either. One in particular has been giving me some grief. I got an email from her mother the other day saying that she understood there was "some friction" between me and her daughter. I actually had to stop and think a minute about what she was talking about. And then I realized she must be talking about the death stare her daughter gives me whenever I speak to her.

Here's me: "L, let's look over your folder assignments and see where you are so I can give you some goals for next week."

My student: *silence* Shooting dagger eyes straight towards my heart

Soooooo...that's a little mystery I'm still trying to figure out. In the meantime, I'll just chalk it up to teen stuff, or pms, or something...(pass the wine, please).

Anyway, with all that said this truly has not been a terrible week. I really do have a great life and an amazing job I love. There are some really great things in store for me in the near future regarding my job and I will blog about that on another day. I'm just not ready to talk about it, yet.

Also, let us not forget that I get to come home to the most amazing and beautiful little girl. I'm so happy I'm a mother. It makes everything else so small and just not matter. I can have a terrible day and come to her smile and I forget about everything else. I can't complain about my life. I've been given the best gift from God.

Well, actually I do have one complaint. Why doesn't Josef Weinberg have his Sweet Red in a box??